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Battleship Reviews

Our Review

Board game turned blockbuster blow-up

Grant McAvaney, MovieFix
Think 'Kaboom!' (or any generic explosion descriptor) and you'll accurately epitomise the latest Hollywood end-of-the-world big-screen blockbuster, the two hours of noise known as Battleship.

Marketed as being based on Hasbro's board game of the same, Battleship introduces Alex Hopper (John Carter's Taylor Kitsch), a young man desperately in need of direction and discipline and an out-of-this-world test of character.

Enter stage right — an alien invasion and a battle for Earth set in Pearl Harbour, featuring an international naval fleet, a soundtrack replete with power chords, and Hopper rising to senior ranks through circumstance. Kapow!

If you're hoping for a remake of the 1925 Russian silent film and Tsarist regime commentary, Battleship Potemkin, then this movie isn't for you. Don't get me wrong, there are themes, baby — the importance of humility, the dangers of reckless contact with alien life-forms and how to pick up chicks with burritos. But it falls short of delivering the full popcorn experience that a blockbuster should. Kerplunk! (Ignore that — wrong game.)

Battleship isn't the kind of film where an exploration of character complexities is expected. That aside, while the cast is easy on the eye (including an acting debut from Rihanna — Badaboom!), it's hard to "root for the good guys" like I would for movies of a similar vein, such as Independence Day.

The dialogue is surprisingly painful, and each spoken line seems separately recorded, akin to the pre-recorded voice you hear when telephone banking.

Happily, Battleship eventually gains momentum in the second half, giving action-escapism junkies a strong hit of 'Kablammo!'

If this sounds like your kind of film, take note: it is best experienced on the big screen and with a healthy dose of paracetamol (and maybe a bucket of popcorn too). As for me, well, I'm just hanging out for the large-screen version of Hungry Hungry Hippos. Chomp chomp!

*Watch the trailer and more clips here

Your Reviews

Michael.
Michael.
Seriously I had a fantastic time . normally Grant knows his movies but he cant have seen it because if he had his review would of been better. This is a fun ride. its got the lot with extras. I love Miss "R" and normally iI hate her music. grant have a look next time before you judge a movie.
Penny
Penny
This movie was amazing. Funny, action-packed, really well done. Seriously? If your going to see a movie about aliens, and you don't believe in aliens, IT IS GOING TO BE UNREALISTIC FOR YOU. Suck it up, and enjoy it for what it is. An awesome twist on a board game. And it happens to be fantastic. Go and see it.
Baggy
Baggy
Thoroughly enjoyed it. Not as far fetched as I expected - yes it did get ridiculous towards the end (starting an old battleship up that just happened to be fully loaded with ammo!)but not as early as I expected. You can't take a film like this too seriously - it is just entertainment after all and entertained I was. I took the kids to see this film expecting the usual trash but came out very happy!
Zoran
Zoran
Worst sci-fi/action movie I've ever seen. Decent special effects cannot overcome the dumb story, horrible dialogs and terrible acting. Wait to see it on free-to-air TV!
ANONYMOUS
ANONYMOUS
I thought it was a great film - funny and lots of action
aenn
aenn
i thought this might be the best movie i've ever seen!!... brilliant!!
Golly
Golly
What a shocker.the story writers should be shot, hung drawn and quartered. Starting up a mothballed battleship in 10 minutes, wow , never heard of storing live missiles & ammo on a museum ship. Kitsch totally unbelievable as a naval lieutenant , age for a start !! Totally disastrous movie, couldn't have been worse. Liam what were you doing in this huge fizzer.
anonyy
anonyy
i don't understand why everyone is hating on this film. I loved it!! it was very entertaining, and i thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it
FarmerBear
FarmerBear
Sorry I paid money to see this movie, they used a big name star to get you in but the others actors were forgettable, as far as sci-fi goes this films story line was not much chop, even with a fantasy plot it’s not believable and over the top.
tony bernard
tony bernard
Not suitabale for anyone over 10 years of age or an iq in excess of 50
anonymous
anonymous
I must say that this was a terrible film. There was very little (if any at all) plot and there was hardly any realism or rationality in the action. only reason I gave this film a star more than what it deserved is because the chicken burrito part at the begining was entertaining
marty Hammond
marty Hammond
I found this film to be quite simply fantastic ! The plot, action, actors were second to none. In my book this will become a classic along with Starship Troopers, The Chronicles of Riddiclk. I think the critics have really got it wrong on this one.
chris
chris
Slow start but turned out to be one of the best movies i have seen this year
"Independence Day" was overkill in the rooting for the good guys... go america go??? I liked it and my kids liked it. Bringing in the old timers was a nice touch.
AMAZING
AMAZING
Critics are blind if they only rate this 3 star, the movie was incredible in every way and its a DEFINITE GO SEE!!!!! Action, acting, everything was perfect.
Brailey
Brailey
Simple plot, but constant action , good special effects. Overall; an enjoyable watch
Maddison
Maddison
Midly entertaining - only due to the absolute corny factor is possessed.

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